BAD PHYSICS JOKES
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Why does a transformer hum?
Cos it doesn’t know the words!
Watt’s the unit of power?
Yes, it is.
What’s a thousand watts? A KILO watt
What’s a thousand metres? A KILOmeter
What’s a thousand joules? A KILOjoule
What’s a thousand Whales?
blame David Howell not me for these two:
What is a million million bulls? Terabull (like the joke)
What is a millionth of a millionth of a millionth of a boy? Attoboy!
what is a millionth of a millionth of a nose?
“Please Sir should I be punished for something which I did NOT do?”
“No, of course not”
“Oh good, I didn’t do my physics homework”
If you poured sodium chloride on someone and hit them with a torch cell it would be….
assault and battery
If someone dropped a 10 Newton weight onto your head from a great height it would be a killer gram
Girls..if an annoying boy is trying to chat you up say:
“know what…..you have a magnetic personality” (I bet he smiles)
“you repel me!”
(from Karl Newson thanks!)
There are two hydrogen atoms walking down the road.
One says to the other “I’ve lost an electron”
The other replies “you sure?”
The other confirms “Yes, I’m positive!”
2 cats are sliding down a tin roof – which one reaches the bottom first?
(the one with the smallest mew!)
Here is one from John Benson’s students:
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
elephant rhino sin(theta)
Explanation!: If you have 2 vectors A and B and perform the “cross product” on them, the solution is AB sin (theta), where A is the magnitude of A, B is the magnitude of B and theta is the angle between the 2 vectors, hence the “elephant rhino sin (theta)
These are from Mark:
What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
You may have graduated but I have many degrees.
What did the nuclear physicist have for lunch?
What did one Nuclear Physicist say when he wanted to fight another Nuclear Physicist?
Let me atom.
Have you ever heard that entropy isnt what it used to be?
Does a radioactive cat have 18 half-lives?
Send in More Big Bang Theory jokes
Sheldon Works and Days
August 1 — December 1
Sheldon’s joke to his assistant (which would have made him fired in real life)
“A woman is like a raw egg sandwich club or a sweltering day in Texas (…) From an evolutionist point of view, you are a slave to your desire to reproduce,” Sheldon told his assistant Alex in episode 12 of season 6 of The Big Bang Theory. He is then summoned to the Human Resources Office for his inappropriate remarks. And as if that were not enough, he adds a layer: “I did not speak about her in particular, what I mean is that all women are slaves of their biological needs. Even you. You are a slave. In other words, in reality, such remarks would never have happened and would have sent back …
Theatre of Physics Geeks
October 1 — December 1
The report of girls to geek culture The day Leonard, Sheldon, Howard and Raj leave to attend the Bakersfield Comic-Con, Penny, Amy and Bernadette decide to try reading comics for the first time. They then land in Stuart's shop and the customers, all male, stop when they see them arrive. "It's good, stop watching them, it's just girls, you've already seen in movies or drawings," says Stuart. Do we understand that comics are reserved for men? That Stuart's shop has no girl among its customers? And Lucy then (to name her, of course)?
Howard The Life I Deserve
August 1 — December 1
Howard, Raj and America's Next Top Model In episode 7 of The Big Bang Theory, Penny goes to Sheldon and Leonard to watch America's Next Top Model, a famous American reality TV show. It is then that Howard realizes that the show's participants live in a house in Los Angeles. Aided by Raj, he uses all the technological tools available, whether legal or not, to find the shooting location of the show and get there. The worst is that they succeed. Are we talking about the fact that this is neither more nor less than harassment?
Sheldon From Girls to Rainbows
October 1 — December 1
Sheldon’s behavior with his friends
Last but not least. Sheldon Cooper may be an emblematic character, adored by fans for his outspokenness and his neuroses, but it does not go beyond the limits some times with his friends. When he belittles Howard because he does not have a doctorate, Penny because she has interests that are slightly different from her, or if she treats Amy as she sees fit, it hurts to to believe that a guy like him would keep his friends in real life.
”Cyborgs, as the philosopher Donna Haraway established, are not reverent. They do not remember the cosmos.”
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